Sunday, August 23, 2009

Honey Do Weekend!

Saturday

Last night was the worst night I have ever had with the little Milk Monster. We tried to sleep in the bed with Daddy but by "we" I mean "me and him" because SHE had other plans. Plans that involved screaming at the harmonic frequency of my brain matter and playing hard to get with the boob. She'd latch on, give 4 good sucks and pull back off the nip like my milk had been diabolically switched with liquid hot magma. Yet 2 seconds later, all was forgiven and she'd give it another shot. Nope, still lava. Rewind and replay repeatedly for 45 minutes. Super yay. I wanted to throw myself down the stairs and veg out in a broken heap at the bottom, but I was pretty sure Stephen would just walk Lizzie down to nurse as is. Once we finally got the terrorist full and conked out, I looked down at her precious little face, all asleep and quiet, and wondered what the big deal had been about :0)




Super super excited! Stephen and his dad, Mike, are doing honey do's this weekend. I wish I could do more around the house and it kills me to stand on the sidelines while everyone else does all the fun stuff. I would love to climb up the ladder and shove around heavy boxes. So much needs to be done. But I am trying to take the doctors seriously and keep my activities light. No heavy lifting more than the baby and frequent rest breaks, napping when the baby does. But it's hard.

When the boys announced they would be tackling the bathroom upstairs, I tried not to get my hopes up too much. That bathroom is a terrible inconvenience. Shower? Yes. Sink? Yes, but no mirror. Toilet? No. When we moved in, it was imperative that we have at least one toilet and one shower. At first, that one shower and one shitter, in seperate bathrooms, on separate floors, was extremely acceptable. Better than nothing. But over time it became really effin annoying. After 6 weeks and house guests and a c section, the trip downstairs in the middle of the night to piddle was full of creaky knees and curse words. Needless to say, bathroom work was started.

After a trip to Lowes and a brief Sonic lunch break, they went back upstairs to work some more. There was a lot of noise filtering down and I was mega curious but I didn't dare go interrupt them. When I was finally called to inspect the renovations, I was more than happy. The toilet now works. Without leaking. The bald spot where a dilapidated 70's mirror once stood now houses a very large very nice medicine cabinet mirror. All the trash was lovingly removed too. What a wonderful Pinocchio story; Now it's a REAL bathroom! One major box checked off the Holy-Shit-This-House-Needs-A-Lot-Of-Work List! And a huge weight off of my shoulders.

And on top of that, they also deforested the backyard. It was absolutely overgrown and disgusting. Only Chewie would go out there and even he wouldn't venture to some corners. Mike used the weed whacker to pre scalp the yard and Stephen followed with the lawn mower which threatened to choke and die every lap. Unacceptable but won't happen again. I hope. The Chewie brownies hidden in the yard like Easter eggs were especially dangerous.

What a wonderful way for father and son to spend time together!

And Grandpa got to hold Lizzie and explain to Stephen how he loved to lie on Daddy's chest too and sleep. That really touched Stephen. Lizzie can sleep for hours on his chest and it's one of the sure fire ways to calm her.

And of course, something is still wrong with my camera. It keeps taking random gorgeous pics of Lizzie behind my back...


SUNDAY

Last night was MUCH better, Lizzie wise. She slept, we slept, the stars and planets aligned and peace and harmony descended upon the Earth. No shit. Everyone loves each other again :)


More honey do's! I'm tickled salmon!

The AC guys ripped a hole in the ceiling upstairs. The hole that was already there was not adequate for them to get the air handler through. So they made a bigger hole. And then said they wouldn't fix it because they "didn't do incidentals". Nice. So the existing moulding and hatch cover no longer fit. Consequence? A gaping entrance to the attic where we rhythmically throw fistfulls of $20 dollar bills we no longer need. It needed something. Some kind of cover. Duct tape and plastic. A piece of plywood. A dead body. Anything. But for some reason it never made it onto the to do list. I had to helplessly watch as my broke ass couldn't get up there and do it myself. Anywho, back to the story. The menfolk fixed it good as new! Now we have to find somewhere else to throw our money!

LIGHTS!
We has em'!


The lights in the dining room and kitchen never worked right. Well, most of em did not work at all. We added it to the list but Stephen couldn't figure out the insanity that was the wiring so we were at a loss. Not any more! Mike got out his electrical widgets and they put on their thinking caps and became one with the little bastard electrons that had so far out witted us. They figured out the lines, rerouted or rewired or whatever, blew up a few toys and triumphed over electricity. The juice has been correctly corralled and now all switches and all outlets work. Let there be light! And it is GOOD!

They also did some fiddling on the roof,
(HaHa, get it? Fiddle? Roof? Never mind....)
What they did I do not know. I did not ask. Stephen spent time outside and got sweaty. That was enough for me. I was pleased. Maybe tomorrow I will ask what they did.

Inside, we were too busy getting some fresh heiney nakey time for a wee bit o diaper rash, per doc's orders. And spending time with Mommy's little helper, Chewie, who wants to lick the flesh off Lizzie's face. In a lovin' way...


OMG The camera went crazy again and kept snapping cute pictures!!
ACK!!!




Dr. Appt @ 3 Weeks

Friday Dr Appointment!
Time to see if we have good weight gain :)



Back to Portsmouth... And a rare treat, Daddy got to get off work to come with us! And even, better, he does not have to go back. We actually got to the appointment a little bit early, which is very unlike me to do. After getting called back and getting nakey, we dumped Lizzie on the scale and waited for the doc to push the button that converts the readout to lbs/ozs. I don't speak metric so I don't know what 4873 or whatever grams is. Neither did the doc apparently. Stephen asked him and he didn't know. He seemed a little embarrassed. Anywhoo: 9 lb 10.5 oz! YAY! Normal weight gain of 5 oz a week and she doubled it. Makes me wonder if she was even low at all last visit. Chunky Monkey is still 75 percentile for head and height (still at 21 inches which is an inaccurate and unstable measurement anyway) but is now between 75 and 90 percentile in weight (no in between measurement). And the diaper rash we were fighting has a touch of yeast in it, so we got a script for medicated butt paste :) Doc says it is normal for babies who received so many antibiotics at birth.

Then we headed off to Dick's where I finally found a good backpack for Lizzie's diaper bag. It's so cute and I want to use it so bad, but I have to drop it off at the NEX on Monday to get her name embroidered on it. Now I just have to decide how I want it done. First or First Last? And Elizabeth or Lizzie? Decisions decisions. We wanted to do more but it was hot as hell outside. I hate August!

We ended up relaxing for the rest of the day (translation: snooze fest with Lizzie)

Stephen's dad got here late in the evening for a weekend visit. He was so excited to have him come see Lizzie and the house. They are actually planning on getting some honey do's done over the next two days and that makes me VERY happy :) It was a late night but we made it even later by watching a pap per view of Gran Torino, which I love. Clint Eastwood = My Bad Ass Hero!

And before I go, I'd like to share one of Lizzie's many many faces she cycles through as we attempt to establish communication with her in English.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Alone during the day...

Wednesday:

Woke up early to take Kristi to the airport. I'm so glad my sis was able to come up and spend some quality time with us :) She was such a big help with both the baby and Chewie. I hope she had a good time.


Getting Lizzie in the car...



Saying goodbye at the airport :*)


After I got home, I got to work. Vacuuming. Scrubbing. Organizing. It felt so good! Too bad I petered out early. I don't quite have the energy yet to go crazy. But I gave a good push and I feel like a million bucks.

Other than that, same ole same ole...
Boobie. Diaper. Sleep. Repeat.

Dinner was pizza. Simple. Since I didn't make it to the grocery store. Stephen had duty so he got home super late. I snapped a few extra pics. What a relaxing day :)



Thursday:

Another lazy day.
Lizzie must be going through a growing spurt because it's the second day of overlapping feeds. That's when one feed ends after the next feed begins. Continuous boobie time. Yay... NOT! Milk gets everywhere because she eats like a wild animal. It's kinda gross and Chewie likes to lick up all the spillies. Also kinda gross. Especially when he licks Lizzie. I try to keep it on the scalp only.



I finally finished downloading Skype so we could chat with Gramma on the web cam. It was ok. I don't like the idea of being on film like that and I'm not much of a phone talker so it's kinda difficult, but you gotta do what you gotta do. You also gotta do what Gramma says you gotta do! LOL!

Stephen actually got home at a decent time today! Awesome! It helps me so much to have the extra set of hands. And Lizzie loves it because I don't have time to hold her ALL DAY and when Daddy gets home, he can :)





I felt so good I even cooked dinner! Sketti! It was as much as I could handle and what we had the groceries for :) Lizzie almost let me cook it by myself too. Almost. Her growling belly led her to my arms a few minutes before I could get everything on. I finished cooking with her on the boobie. It was quite a sight I would like to think.

We watched Project Runway as a family and Stephen died on the couch. It's been a rough week for us all. After I got him shooed upstairs, I took a shower myself. Very relaxing. I took Lizzie in her car seat so she could be lulled to sleep by the pitter patter of the water. It worked beautifully and was noted for future reference. :)



Doctor appointment tomorrow. Hopefully Lizzie is gaining some weight. She certainly looks chubbier in the cheeks to me!









Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Last Monday/Tuesday with my Sis


Talk about chaos!
Ever try to get ANYTHING done, toting a newborn around?!?
It's damn near impossible!
Oh wait... I guess that's how it's supposed to be!

We really wanted to get pictures done with Kristi and Lizzie, but the packages seemed unreasonable and the one super duper over-advertised special was conveniently unavailable unless you made an appointment for at least the next day. Interesting.... So we made an appointment :)

We ended up shopping for random stuff because someone decided she required boobie milk NOW! I swear! We have GOT to stop taking our meals so crazily... After all of Miss Drama's shenanigans, I just wanted to go home. I stopped by the tax office to show Debbie the baby for a minute and then hit the road.

There is some odd waxing and waning disease that we are spreading around in our household. I think I had it first with a sore throat and eventually Stephen and Bud got it. Then it gained a few symptoms and bit us again. Then Stephen went down hard. Now Bud is down hard. And I think I'm next. We are all outbreak monkeys, continually reinfecting each other. I ended up sleeping most of the evening and then sleeping most of the night too. In between boobie feeds of course :)

We finally DID get the pictures taken today. They ended up so cute and I even got suckered into a few of Lizzie by herself. Good GOD that kid is cute! She may be the end of me... I can't wait until they come in and I can post them!

I also took her back up to the tax office so my bosses could see her. Everyone is so amazed at how beautiful Lizzie is. I'm not TOO surprised. I mean, she is part me! LOL




We had Ruebens at the Houser's for dinner. Delicious, mess in your pants Ruebens. I LOVE them so much! Yum! Owen was obsessed with Lizzie, wanting her to come out of her carrier and play! He kept pointing at her and grunting. So cute! On a more somber note though, Jason just found out he had orders to go to Bahrain for a year next year. Like, a year without his family. How insane is that? I hope I can be there for her and the kiddoes. She is such a good person and so strong. I know she will be fine. But it will still be rough. Hopefully it will go by really really fast...

And a few random pics to showcase my sweetheart :)

Monday, August 17, 2009

BBQ at the Taxson's

Remember how I said the Dr told me to not let Lizzie go more than 4 hours without eating? Remember how I said she sleeps about 5 hours at night and that's pushing it for the Dr's orders? Yeah...... Last night she slept SEVEN HOURS! I was so ashamed when I woke up and so worried! Poor baby! Dr says sometimes the bebes takes the long sleep at night and then she gets too weak to wake up and cry for food. So she sleeps longer, until she really can't take it, and wakes up starving! How cruel does that sound? Once again, Lizzie, please don't read this and inform the fuzz and/or therapist of how much this scarred you. Mommy is very very sorry!

We had a nice outing to the NEX and commissary too. Lizzie again did so well, I feel like she is such an angelic baby! So peaceful :) We bought some sustenance to take to the Taxson's for BBQ at their house. BBQ Chicken. A+++ What a glorious way to spend a Sunday: with good friends, grilling good food and hanging out. I love those guys! And I LOVE lazy weekends! We even finished up the night with a Redbox at the house: Fast and Furious. Not the best, but was good to veg out before going to bed.

Back to reality tomorrow. Gotta love busy Mondays...
Nakey Baby Pic!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

BBQ at the Wrigley's

Lazy day. Laid around. Watched shitty cable. Dozed. Offered the boobie every few hours. It was wonderful! I must do it again. Soon!

We did end up getting out of the house around 3ish to head to Elizabeth City, NC and BBQ at the Wrigley's. I haven't seen them in forever and Hannah is getting so big and mature! She's 4 already! I also thought it was humorous that we went to Elizabeth City, aka Lizzie's City. LOL...
oh wait....
maybe I'm the only one that got that... :(
Originally, the plan was for Mommy to get some drinking in and Lizzie to get some delicious boobie-gold slushie. I brought 8 oz thinking that would be enough. Well, I was wrong! Little stinker ate it ALL after about 6 hours and wanted more! It sucked because I had 3 glasses of wine and didn't feel safe nursing so we just came home. Too bad E City is about an hour away! Thank God Lizzie fell asleep in the car but she woke up about 2 min away from home and went NUTS! The crying wasn't too bad nerve-wise, but the guilt was HORRIFIC! I felt like the worst mommy on earth. Not bringing enough food for her. Who does that?!? I hope she never reads this and tells some shrink in the future how much it traumatized her. She was pissed!

I finally put her in an "outfit" too.
(This is Stephen's favorite pose of Lizzie's, with her hands and mouth ;P)


Up until now, her entire wardrobe worn has consisted of these amazing baby gowns. They are long sleeved with fold over hand covers to keep baby from scratching themself and the bottom is an elastic hem with no leg holes. Super duper easy to change diapers and doesn't clash with the cloth diapers. The onesies are sometimes too tight to get over that cloth diped butt and there's all those snaps to button and unbutton every time. What a nightmare. I love these gowns for that reason alone. But you can't wear loungy clothes every day so I busted out an outfit. I feel better now :) Back to the gowns...

And.... MORE nakey baby time!




Saturday, August 15, 2009

Lizzie's first Dr Appt

Lizzie's first Dr appt, her 1 week, which actually happened at 2 weeks, went so-so. Unfortunately, her weight gain isn't what it should be. She should at least be back to her birth weight (9lb 5oz) but she is only up to 9lb 1 oz. Dr thinks it is a result of the postdural puncture head ache keeping me from concentrating on the baby and possibly the early formula supplementing also. We go back next week to check again. She also has some diaper rash and the doctor recommends more nakey time :) She is 50, 75 and 75 percentile for head size, height and weight respectively! Mommy's BIG GIRL! I also stopped back by the lactation consultant who switched my hold and showed me how to get Lizzie better latched to take in more boobie and feel less chewie. Very grateful. Thanks much! She wants me to come back in later and do a feed check, where they basically weigh her before and after eating to see how many oz she is getting. I think about 4 oz. When I pump after feeding in the am, I get 5 oz one side and 1 oz from the other. Durig the evening, I think she gets 2-3 oz though. I also have to wake Lizzie if she sleeps more than 3-4 hours for a feed. Sometimes she sleeps 5 hours, outside her one 5 hour night sleep, and Dr says wake her and feed until she gets back on track. Roger that!

Today was also Stephen's first day back at work. Paternity leave flew by! I can't believe Lizzie is 2 weeks already! I don't know how much Stephen cared for it, but I was relieved he went back. I feel so much more motivated to do house work when he is gone. I don't know why. I just can't do it when he is here. Maybe I'm jealous when he gets home and gets to sit on his arse and relax so I can't do work when he isn't! LOL But when he is gone, I feel like he is working so I should be too. Don't tell him though. He'll just recommend he "disappear" on the weekends so I can "imagine" it's work time. I don't want to give him any ideas ;)

I must brag again about this awesome consignment shop, Kid to Kid. They always have the CUTEST baby clothes, and I never pay more than about 5 bucks an outfit. Lizzie has so many clothes it's crazy! They have other stuff too, but I haven't found anything big that I love, like a high chair or crib or anything. I have also gotten hair bows and shoes and books there. And today I found NURSING TOPS! Yay! The really nice $25ish Motherhood Maternity ones. I bought all five of the ones they had. Only $4.99 each. Hello?! Can you say good deal? I almost cried I was so happy. I have been putting off getting them because I couldn't stomach the prices, but then I was getting so desperate to have anything at all that worked. Nursing in public or even around house guests is nerve racking without proper gear. I'm so happy now; I can whip out the boobies any time, any where! We also stopped at Target, partly because I needed milk freezer storage baggie thingies and partly because Lizzie was a SCREAMIN' in the car. Food. Now. I'm still getting the hang of things with timing her feedings. And it's harder since we're nursing and not popping a bottle in her mouth. Hence the need for nursing tops. :) I also found 5 sets of baby legs, which are super cute leg warmers, for like $3 each set. Another big score I have been wanting for a while. I can wait until Lizzie gets a little more meat on her bones to wear them!

Even more exciting, we had TWO meal dates today! First was lunch with my sis, Kristi and friend Kristy (LOL) and Dave at Villiage Inn. It was our first lunch date and Lizzie did amazing. She slept ;P The second was at Blue Fin, a super nice Korean and sushi place, where Bud treated us all to a delicious dinner out. She did amazing there too, but definately let us know she wanted to go home at the end of the meal. Her boobie appetizer was not enough to last until we got home! The sushi chef (and owner) was so sweet. He was telling Stephen he had an 11 month old and how it had changed his life. He said to respect the mom because she does so much for the baby and she deserves so much attention and gratitude. And how everything is hard at every stage, and it never lets up, but still you are just so happy. I was so moved by his speech. You could tell he just loved being a daddy. I'm tearing up right now just thinking about it :*) It was a delight.



Lizzie at Blue Fin :)


Friday, August 14, 2009

Second week already?!?!

MONDAY
More adventures outside the house!
 I feel really good. My c section trauma is behind me and although my incision is still very real to me, it is no longer at the forefront of my mind. I have moved on. I never thought I would say that.
Today's agenda: Bed Bath and Beyond, Babies R Us, and Olive Garden. Kristy again saved the day by picking up Chewie and taking him to her house to have a play date with Zeus. This act of generosity maybe goes unappreciated fully. It saves our sanity as well as his. I don't know if he would even be manageable without these opportunities to blow off steam. We might of killed him by now. Thanks Kristy!
Babies R Us was Ok. I had to exchange the Snuggle Nest. I was worried they would give me problems but they did not. YAY! We bought more baby crap and debated getting others. We looked at the toys for Stephen. I don't know about that store. It's a tad expensive for my taste :)
Bed Bath and Beyond was a treat as always. I always wish I had the moolah to shop there regularly. They have so much junk that would make your life easier. Not very many things in there are "I would never use that" worthy. But I dood good and kept my monies in my pockets. It was hard. High five me.
Off to dinner at Olive Garden; Lizzie's first meal at a restaurant. She did marvelously. She only cried a bit to have some boobage which I gave her and she returned to la-la-land. One creepy older lady gave me the stink eye for whippin' out the boob, but I gave her the stink eye back for whippin' out her face so I guess we were even. High fives again. Oh and did I tell you how adorable the Milk Monster was in her going-out attire?
 
How can you not love that face?!?
I love her even though she pooped on me today. From afar. In an arc, across the room and onto my feet. Projectile poop. Ballistic poop. Yet still I smiled and wiped up the mess and giggled to myself. Little stinker. I shall remember this and write it down and store it on the interwebz to refer to at a later date when it will cause the maximum amount of humiliation to an older Lizzie. This is my revenge. :)
And I ended the day by sleeping upstairs. In a bed. MY bed. With my husband!. The toilet not working upstairs has been too much for my recovery. Having to venture downstairs for potty time was hard enough to keep me sleeping on the couch with Lizzie nearby. Stephen was deprived of his middle-of-the-night special Lizzie time. :( How sad. Now he doesn't have to miss it anymore! Super swell!
TUESDAY 
She's leaving already?!?
Gramma leaves tomorrow early am. I can't believe it has been 2 weeks already. What will I do? She has basically done everything I am supposed to do since she has been here. I have not lifted a finger to cook, clean or worry about anything other than relaxing, recuperating and bonding with Lizzie. It's been wonderful but now I am so spoiled! I dread having to go back to my chores :( LOL 
So today was "Enjoy each other day!"
Gramma needed extra Lizzie time and cuddles.
 
Gramma also suggested we start Lizzie on some tummy time since she has been really strong in the neck and lifts her head very well. She is also a bit gassy but not in a painful way. Tummy time really helped her get some tootin' done. Now it's a new favorite position. She loves being on her belly and loves it even more with music and vibration from the pack n play. One way ticket to snooze-ville. I approve!
Gramma also treated us to TWO cooked meals today: carbonara for lunch and chicken creole for dinner. Even after two weeks of being pampered, I am still very grateful for every cooked meal that is prepared for me. Thanks Gramma!
Daddy also got caught up on some Lizzie time before paternity leave is over and gone.

 
And another visitor today: Anita! I haven't seen her since Kristy's Housewarming Party and I was big and preggers while everyone else had fun chugging wine. Boo! Finally Lizzie and I are two separate people. I was pregnant when I first met Anita. Seems like forever ago she was showing us houses and making us laugh. She is the most awesome Realtor I have ever met and an honest person to boot. She always goes above and beyond and her energy makes me exhausted. Maye I can give her a run for her money now that I am getting smaller and more energetic daily. I cannot wait for our housewarming party :)

 
Gramma gave Lizzie her second bath ever and she loved it. Not at first. But eventually. We got it on the iFlip so hopefully I can learn how to post the videos soon. I tried the other day but no dice. I think I am missing something :(
In honor of Gramma's last night, we stayed up late and let the two of them have some more quality bonding time. Gramma will miss her so much and we will miss Gramma so much!

 
I slept downstairs so Stephen could get some good sleep for tomorrow. He has to get up super early to get Gramma to the airport. Did I mention how terribly sad I am that she is leaving us?
:*(
WEDNESDAY 
First day without Gramma! Yikes!
  
We decided to take it easy and not rush into Mommy taking over again. It was a quiet and calm morning and Lizzie took her time getting up and awake. She is so cute. Just like her Mommy, it takes her FOREVER to get her eyes open and alert in the morning. You have to wait for her to go through her entire stretching routine and watch her cycle through her million different faces.
 
  
  
What a prima donna!
And another new development: her umbilical stump fell off! I'm so happy because that thing kinda creeped me out, no lie. But even creepier than that was the fact that I couldn't find the damn thing at first. You know, her stump. It was just here last night and gone this morning. My first disgusting thought was that Chewie had found it and ate it. I know that's pretty gross, but he eats other dog's poopies so you never know. So I interrogated him whilst trying not to throw up in my mouth. He just looked at me like "I know I've done some nasty shit in the time we have known each other but good God woman, come on!" I didn't believe him one little bit, but I quickly apologized to him when I found it hidden in the folds of her nightgown. But even though I found it and he didn't eat it, I'm almost positive he would have had he got to it first. Nasty monkey!

 
YAY! Stump-less!
So the only other note worthy thing from today was the mysteriously fluid on the changing table. I think it was pee. It's damn near impossible, but I think it was pee. I had changed Lizzie and I had to grab a clean diaper from the dryer behind me. I was turned away a max of 15 seconds. Maybe. When I turned back around, the entire changing table was covered in clear water droplets. Everything. 18 inches away from her butt and 10 inches higher than her butt. Had she sprayed the entire surface with her pee? How had she done it? Did she wiggle from side to side or sneeze while pissing or what?! It was impossible! Like she got up, ran around the table pissing on everything, laid back down and waited for me to turn back around as she flashed a "look how cute I am" smile. She's up to no good. I can smell it!

 
Click on the image to get a closer look at the "Lizzie Dew" everywhere.
She is a riot every day. I can't wait to see what antics she will get into when she is older. Well, maybe I can wait a little while...
She's going to be a handful!
THURSDAY
 Another slow day. I love it. Spending time with the Milk Monster and the Hubz before he goes back to work tomorrow. Has it been two weeks already?!? Time is flying by! We decided on Quiznoes again for dinner (Boo to cooking LOL!) and lounged around in our jammies. Comfy time.
 
And now that i am officially a fully breastfeeding, pumping milk machine, no more pumping updates after this: I pumped 6 ounces in under 15 minutes! No more doubts or self esteem lapses here! I am so glad I stuck it out and didn't give up. Hopefully it will score me some points with the therapist Lizzie goes to when she gets older. I know we messed up a lot Honey, but you had Mommy's Milk :) What do you think?

Sunday, August 9, 2009

This weekend, we venture out!

SATURDAY
I feel amazing!
It's like I fell asleep and woke up another person!
 
The blood patch worked 100%. I didn't realize just how much the pain was affecting my bonding with my daughter. I resented her a tad bit every time she cried for the boobie or needed to be held. Besides cringing at the thought of her gnawing on my raw nips, I was almost in tears every time I had to be fully erect to service her in whatever way. And it showed. I was stretching out feedings and welcoming anyone to pick her up; Stephen, Gramma, strangers off the street. It was too much. And poor Lizzie was stressed out too, dealing with me. Sweet baby. Please don't need therapy in the future :( Needless to say, everything is puppies and kitties and rainbows again and I love that little girl's sweet sweet face.
Her butt, on the other hand, is not so good. Diaper rash is a bitch. When I opened up my daily morning surprise today, I found total booty carnage! Red, raw and angry looking skin. How had this happened?!? We are using cloth diapers. Lizzie has no less than 4 people, ON STAFF, pulling back diaper corners and smelling for ookies. Diapers are still cute and changed often. We are breastfeeding so bad reactions are damn near impossible! What the fook, Batman? Is her butt water made of pure acid? I'm so confused! And I feel so damn bad. Like I let her down, I let myself down, I let mothers the world over down. Tears in my eyes, I gingerly touched her tush with the cloth wipes I had soaking and vowed to get some diaper goo at the NEX. UGH Diaper Rash! It's the only commonly accepted wound a newborn can acquire and have everyone just look the other way. Nothing to see here. Just diaper rash. I'm sure if she had the same patch of pissed off delicate baby skin on her face, people would take notice. Say something. Call someone. But not on her butt. It's just diaper rash. Oh yeah? Well not to a Mommy. To a mommy, it's a major boo-boo. Deserving of ice cream or suckers, but she's too young so baby toe nibbles will have to do. 
Have you SEEN her baby toes?!? You can't help but nibble! Ask Gramma :)
And in pumping news!
3 ounces! EACH! Each side even. OMG we are totally pumping with gas now. Enough to freeze. I can have friends over and open the freezer drawer and point to these plastic Medela tubes with yellow caps and say "LOOK! See those tubes of frozen fluid? That's breast milk! As in bodily fluid I created in my boobies to feed and nourish my child. And after feeding her, I had enough to make a plate of leftovers for her at a later date! I'm a real Mom!" I know, how lame right? But I can't help it. Every precious ounce is a labor of love. Drops of liquid gold that drip from me at the expense of my time, my comfort..... and my future cleavage potential. With all the pulling and squeezing and sucking and chewing, I'm sure I am voiding their warranties and fucking their future loveliness. Totally worth it :)
Other than that, it was a pretty lax day, chilling with my newborn, soaking up her smells and getting reacquainted with her. She is such a stubborn little booger, refusing to conform to our recommendations or rules. Just take a look at her in her swing. It has an indention to hold her little bod and a headrest thingy to keep her head cradled and her neck straight. Does she appreciate it? Hell no! She says screw your boundaries! I don't need your help! 
See what I mean? LOL
So, Stephen went to a movie with Shyer and then we had the famous white chili Gramma made and watched Transformers. That was about it. What an awesome Saturday. The good life...

SUNDAY 
Let's run some errands! Let's get out of the house and mingle with the other people who have some how managed to both birth their children AND resume normal activities as well. Yay! After all, how much can one little newborn upset two busy grown people's lives? Especially when she is this cute!
Since we have too many people to transport in one vehicle, we had to decide who was going with who, in which car, to which place. Like the game Clue. But more complicated. 
We were all going to rendezvous at the Nex in Norfolk. Now, both the Gramma and my sis wanted to see the Navy ships on base (the carriers and subs and whatever all the little boats in between are called; haha) so I sent everyone with Stephen. He knows so much random crap about military everything that he makes a far better tour guide than me. He can tell you when the boat was built and famous events in it's lifetime and if it likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. I can tell you it's big and gray. Pretty much what you can ascertain with your own eyes knowing absolutely jack shit about the Navy. And I was on a carrier. Not exactly the best person to show you around.
 And getting out the door was almost more than I could handle. After I sent everyone away, I almost had a breakdown as I was trying to think of all the baby accoutrement required or possibly required that needed to make it into the car. And I needed to change. And brush my hair. And teeth. Find shoes. Find baby shoes. No baby shoes. Ok, socks then. Get her in the car seat. She's crying. Take her out. Change her diaper. Back in the car seat. Take the car seat outside. Forgot the car keys. Take the car seat back in. Get the keys. Go back to the car. Put the seat in. Seat isn't buckled. Buckle the seat. Forgot my wallet. Go get my wallet. Leave driveway. Forgot wedding rings (bitches still don't fit anyway). Go back up driveway. Get rings. Leave again. Turn on AC. Relax tense muscles and release white knuckles on steering wheel. Get on the interstate. Look around the car in search of applause. No applause to be found. Pat myself on the back. Mission accomplished. Holy shit, this is my life from now on.
Get to the NEX. Place Lizzie in the Boppy Snuggli sling carrier thingamajig and proudly enter the NEX and meet everyone else. YAY! I found the bath sponge thing I was looking for and a pack n play! A PACK N PLAY! I have been looking high and low and sideways trying to find one I like, with the features I like and a non-stupid fabric pattern. For some reason, the newest fashion "in" is the modern look. Funny shapes and ugly colors. Gag me with a spoon. I like traditional patterns. Paisley and plaid and toile. And I finally found one, thank God. Mark it off the to-buy list :)
We ended our first day out by going to the Taxson's and stuffing our faces with BBQ. Always a good time. They are the best! What a perfect way to end the weekend! We were beat.
 
Oh and one more thing: No more disposables!! We have officially switched over to cloth diapers 100% as of today. I'm so excited! We were using the hospital disposables on and of, depending on who changed Lizzie. Now it's prefolds and Thirsties covers and that's it. How cool is that?!?

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Postdural Puncture Headache

THURSDAY

Headache. Really really bad. Getting worse every day. Pounding insanity when I'm up and sweet glorious relief when I lie down. Complication of the epidural? Maybe... I'm almost out of narcotics so hopefully it gets resolved soon.

Stephen finally found a friend of his that he had been out of touch with for a few years. That friend wanted to go to a concert and take Stephen with him. Some random metalish concert with Manson I think. Well, being the good wife that I am, I said sure, go, have fun. I was in too much pain to really be of use to anyone and you could tell he really wanted to go. Now I know most people would have said no, spend time with your new family and take care of your wife, but I have spoiled him and I always cave in where it makes him smile. It's a weakness of mine, I know.

So from about noonish to midnight, I was in charge of the house guests. Us ladies had some female time and made sketti. The good sketti too. Not the plain, traditional boat-style sketti. Real sauce with chunkies and everything. Stephen doesn't appreciate the chunkies, the "healthy crap", so it was a real treat. Not to mention the fact that all my meals have been cooked by someone else since I have been back home and I cannot stress enough the gratitude I have for that. Being the sole meal maker in the house gets tiring. Planning and buying and prepping and cooking and cleaning. Over and over every day. And that's at full health. I don't know what we would have done if it was just me and Stephen here. Probably starve. Surely we would have killed each other and turned to cannibalism.

Our neighbors from behind us stopped by too. Amazingly sweet old retired couple. Retired military and civilian shipyard. They came a knockin' on the front door and brought a freshly baked loaf of cranberry orange bread. It was so sweet but I was in so much pain. I stood there talking to them for perhaps a half hour. We cajoled about the other neighbors and the joys of traveling, but all I wanted to do was run to the nearest restaurant supply store, buy a behemoth black cast iron skillet, duct tape it to my hand and proceed to pummel the living shit out of my facial area. As they waved goodbye and I shut the front door, I wilted into the couch and not-so-silently cursed God. All of them.

And in pumping news:
1 more fucking ounce. I swear. One Ounce?!?! At this rate, I can feed Lizzie expressed milk at the rate of one feeding per 4 pumpings. Abysmal. Pathetic. And a whole string of other adjectives that laughingly point to my inadequacies as a career cow. Sheesh!

Did I mention there's this little angel that makes it all worth it?



FRIDAY

I bought a new griddle awhile back for pancakes. I make only waffles solely because I don't have a griddle. And making pancakes in a little pan, one at a time, is like arranging the gravel in your fish tank one piece at a time. Futile. And I also bought it knowing that my Mama would make pancakes when she came down. Her pancakes are AMAZING! They are fluffy and soft and deliciousness personified. They look at my pancakes and say demeaning things like "Don't quit your day job." So on this glorious Friday, the griddle is a griddling away and spitting out these yummy dough pillows. Everyone was so excited. It was like the World's Fair and we were waiting on the first fresh funnel cake to fight over. And on top of that, she cut up fresh strawberries and peaches to go with it. Plates were being distributed, kids were laughing. Puppies and kitties and rainbows and shit. And where was I? On the couch, cradling my throbbing cranium in my hands, muttering "Fuck my life..."

You hate to be that guy (or girl or unicorn or whatever). You know the one. The bitchy moaning Debbie Downer who always has to suck the fun out of the party. But that was me. Everyone around me was having such a grand hoorah of a good time, hootin and hollerin. Celebrating the baby. Admiring the roses. And I was wishing death and destruction upon each of their souls. Thanks God I don't own a gun. Or a flame thrower. Or a land mine. I knew, logically, that no one was trying to kill me, but every word or quick movement each of them offended me with was quickly sending me over the edge. It's pretty sad when you can feel the loopy softening of narcotics and yet still be writhing in the untouched agony of the subject of your misery. I stuffed a dry piece of pancake in my mouth to fit in and tried not to cry. At least the pancake was delicious. Even with no butter or syrup, it was just as good as I remembered her pancakes. Oh the small victories :)

One reason the house was so full of laughter and joy was because Rhiannon had stopped by with the kids. She was in the area and she brought me this little bag from the Vitamin Shoppe. I had talked to her on the phone the night before and we discussed breastfeeding and how I remembered she had difficulty keeping her supply up too. I remembered a tea she drank but couldn't remember the name. She said it was Mother's Milk Tea and also that she took Fenugreek supplements. I wanted to get some eventually to see if it would help. Not any time soon though. I couldn't drive. My head was trying to throb its way off my shoulders like a loose ceiling fan on the highest setting. There were people everywhere and all together too much to do always. So I was absolutely astounded when she came the next morning and brought both the pills and the tea to the house. It was like being hit by a mack truck of gratitude. I simply cannot remember a more thoughtful and appreciated gift. Everyone had their own worries and interests at any given moment. My biggest thought was if Lizzie and I were going to make it much farther as breastfeeders. And reinforcements came charging in! Thank you Rhiannon for thinking of my boobies :) I would have mixed it with my own blood and slathered it all over my body if that's what the directions said. But thank goodness they didn't. I made the tea and took the pills immediately.

And in pumping news:
One ounce...
From each side! Maybe more but I don't want to jinx it. That stuff is already starting to work hopefully! Also on that note, no more formula as of today. We have been supplementing since we got home. Just like at the hospital. 30 min each boob and then offer the Satan juice. But no more. Now we are EBFers. YAY!
(Exclusively Breast Feederz)

Another knock on the door and the FiOS guy showed up. Now, when I scheduled him to come in the first place, I had all these grand plans about how I wanted it done. How I wanted the cable run. Where the ethernet cable would start and end. The setup of the security. Everything. But the moment he walked in the door, that all went out the window. I simply could not handle him. All I could do was look at Stephen and say "you have to get this". That's not normally his job. Normally I handle all that involves/touches the house, and I have usually done hours of research on it and need to be in control and on top of the situation. Not today. The headache was so bad, I couldn't even say Hi to the guy. It was too much. And for me to walk away and say "do whatever needs to be done" you know something is wrong. Amazingly enough, a little while later, we were sans FiOS tech and back to civilization with interwebz and cable. YAY! No more iPhone interwebz.

At mid day, enough was enough. I think everyone else was getting really tired of seeing me on my deathbed and sensing the diabolical thoughts swimming in my head. I remembered the anesthesiologist explaining that the most common complication of the epidural was the postdural puncture headache, but I wasn't sure if that's what I had or not. Rhiannon had a friend who had the same thing and said they gave her a blood patch, which cleared it up immediately. Well, either way, whatever was happening was not right and I needed help. After a week of suicidal pain, I was at my wit's end. Off to the ER we went. I didn't want to take Lizzie but we called ahead and Portsmouth wasn't busy so we went there. I figured it would be safer for her since it's a military hospital on base and not somewhere out in town for any and all to congregate in. It's probably less likely to have crack heads and homeless people. But once again, I don't want to jinx myself.

Soon we were safely sitting in the ER waiting room. Soon after that, I went back. A few doctors talked to me, took my vitals, and hooked up the IV for fluids. They wanted to rule out meningitis and late onset eclampsia. More tests. Some drugs. I like drugs just as much as the next guy. Hell, maybe more. But when that doctor stuck my IV with a shot of morphine, I almost freaked out. I was sitting up and I looked at the doc and said "I need to lie down". I almost didn't know if I could make it. It was a little too powerful for me. I had a minute or so of fear, although I don't know of what. And then some other drug. And a few percosets. More tests. I hooked up my sweet angel boobie sucker twice in between for her feeds. More dosctors.

Diagnosis: Postdural Puncture Headache. Layman's Explanation: basically it's a leak of the fluid in your spinal region. Your brain needs that fluid to float. If the level is low, the brain pulls on these "tethers" that hold it in place. That results in pain. When you lie down, it gets better. Going vertical hurts because gravity pulls even more fluid away from the brain area. Stop the leak, stop the madness.

Eventually they sent me to Anesthesia for the blood patch. Now, an epidural when you are in labor sucks because you are having contractions and what a bitch of a time for someone to be poking you in your spinal area. An epidural without labor is another animal all together. You are more jumpy and it's a bit scarier. And no one could be there to hold my hand (I don't know why). So one doctor sticks your back and another doctor draws blood from your arm at the same time (has to be fresh, like, vampire Twilight fresh). A third doc takes the blood around the table and they insert it into the epidural line. Voila: Blood Patch! Weird, but it worked. All that waiting and the procedure takes like 2 minutes.
No more headache! I live!
I'm ok'ed to go home so I get dressed and book it. It's late and all I want to do is get home!

Here's to hoping tomorrow is a headache free day!

And 2 more photos of my princess to help me sleep :)