Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Wakey Wakey, Eggs and HOLY SHIT A BABY!

Welcome to parenthood!
Lizzie slept all night, just not at night LOL!
She made her own night time...

I wake up on the couch with Lizzie in the boppy at my feet. I woke up and realized I was both at home and in the midst of a newborn. As I looked groggily down at her, I noticed she had slumped down and was inside the depths of the boppy. I thought that was weird, I mean, how could she breathe like that. Then I thought, shit, maybe she wasn't breathing at all. Then I got really scared and wanted desperately to know she was all right. All this happened in the briefest of moments, briefer than the moment of the big bang. And at its conclusion, I leapt up from completely horizontal to hunched over the bobby in a even briefer instant of time. Screaming pain in the baby exit hole. Damn C Section! My God I thought I would burst open in half, spilling the gooey contents of my digestive tract on the microfiber couch cushions. Lizzie was fine. After patting myself down and verifying I had not spilled my innards into my lap, I looked at Lizzie and said "Jesus kid, I almost shit my pants!" She had awoken with a startle and looked at me with a grimace that said "Jesus Mom, I DID shit my pants! Change me and quit taking your paranoia out on me." ... I need help, I know...

What was on the agenda today? Breastfeeding. Lizzie's latch sucks and therefore my nips hurt like tiny embers of Fuck You burning into my chest. Natural my ass! I don't know how the human race has survived this long with formula being a relatively new invention. If I was scavanging for sticks and berries and some screaming nipple gnawer wanted to interrupt me for sustenance, I would shove some mud in it's pie hole and dare it to sniffle. At least I know I have formula to fall back on. It gives me strength sometimes to keep going. But I digress... I'm also pumping to start my freezer stash. Today's yield: half an ounce. Hmmm. Not very productive. I could feed half a kitten with that much. Maybe two thirds of a kitten.

Cloth diapers! Day one! I'm so excited. It seems like everyone either says one of two things when they find out about them.
1. Why?
2. We'll see how long that lasts!
I don't really care much though. If I don't end up doing it for long, I'm ok with that. I want to try and that's where I am right now. And as for why, well, it's really cheap. I LOVE cheap. Ask anyone. And the chemicals in disposables are really ick. And the thought of all those shit sacks wasting away in a landfill really makes me gag. Especially since they will be there for probably longer than human beings will grace the surface of the planet. Gross. So far so good though! Prefolds really do rock at this stage in the game :)

Lizzie is doing 3 things I wouldn't have expected at the newborn stage.
1. Making eye contact. Real eye contact. And following that eye contact when you move your head. She can even look at and focus on the mobile in the swing.
2. Lifting her head. Off the shoulder during burping and up and to the other side when she is on her tummy.
3. Being really really alert. Wide awake for large portions of the day. Staring and gurgling. And generally making us all fall in love with her even more! As if that's even possible!

This is the new life...
Boobie. Diaper. Sleep. Repeat.

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