Monday, February 8, 2010

I'm FAMOUS!

Some days are smoother than others.

I do FlyLady. It's a system. It keeps me sane. You should check it out.

Everyday I do the same thing in the morning and before I go to bed. I have routines. Written ones. In a binder marked "Control Journal".

I'm serious. Fly Lady knows her shit.

What used to take me 3 or 4 uncoordinated crazy hours now gets accomplished in 20 to 30 min, tops. I do the steps mostly in the same order every day. Which means any random morning you could sneak in my house and watch me let the dog out the back door and KNOW that the next thing I will do is push the button on the coffee maker to make it "do what it do". (I wouldn't recommend you sneak in my house though. We sleep in the nude. With guns.)

Now I don't always get to do them perfectly in order. Sometimes E is awake early or Chewie isn't cooperating. Sometimes E will quietly cover herself with baby goo while I'm not looking and next thing you know the dishwasher has to wait because I'm cleaning snot/milk/poop out of her nose/ear/butt. It can get crazy in an instant here. Planning a visit? Bring wading boots and an umbrella.

But for the most part, KNOCK ON WOOD, my mornings and evenings run like clockwork. Sometimes a little too well.

This morning, for example, I made a slight blunder.

I enjoy me some coffee. I LOVE my coffee. Cannot function without it. I take it with Splenda and a splash of milk in case you wanted to bring me some. Or if, by chance, you were bringing me Starbux, then I want a venti iced caramel machiatto with extra caramel sauce and 2 additional shots of espresso. YES I KNOW IT ALREADY COMES WITH 3 SHOTS NOSY BARISTA LADY, this way I only need to drink ONE to function today.)

Sometimes, if we have company, I go the extra mile and have some creamer in the fridge. Creamer is the bee's knees. It's like milk only more FAT. MMMMmmmmm. So I don't get it very often. The next time I will get to have creamer is 24 Feb. That's when my MIL comes down for two weeks to save me from this baby visit our family. I can't wait. I wish she lived here. Come soon dear MIL so we can quilt and have creamer and I don't have to win the "who wants to go get the baby" game EVERY TIME.

I must have been thinking of her coming for her visit while I was making my coffee this morning. We got up a little late and so I jumped into my morning routine and started thinking about the incredibly important things I have to do today. (Shut it! I do!) I made some toast. Chastised the dog. Drank my coffee. Looked strangely at my coffee.....Threw up in my mouth....

WTF?!?

Coffee not good. Coffee gross. Coffee slimy?

 

Egg Mates? 

Oh yeah, I bought those yesterday to try out. I am generally leery of recipes that want me to add a raw egg, stir and serve, so I bought these because they are pasturized. And safer. But NOT creamer. Same skinny carton. Same twisty pour spout. NOT CREAMER. Not even white. It's yellow! What's wrong with me?

My mind is not all here today. I didn't sleep very well last night. I tossed and turned because I knew today was the day my email interview thingy came out at BecomingSarah.com. She is thanking her audience for being all supportive and junk and sending them love in the form of visitors and comments. HOW THOUGHTFUL of her! I'm being presented to Sarah's fans as a funny blog to check out. Go check it out! I'm so NERVOUS! What a weenie ;P

The truth is, I don't know shit about blogging. I don't have a clue about marketing or target audience or even how to use the spell checker correctly (read my archives and believe me.) I do not feel professional in the blog category AT ALL. But what I do have, what I CAN offer, is true stories about our everyday life that also happen to be funny. I don't have any control over this process. Stephen and E and sometimes Chewie, they are to blame. (Well and sometimes my spaz brain helps).

So when Sarah said "Oh hai, bloggy interview thingy and do you wanna be the first one and I have cookies..." I heard "cookies" and said SHIT YEAH and next thing I know, interview POSTED. And I realized this morning that if she was going to be sending company over to my blog home then maybe I shoulda cleaned this place up a bit and made it more presentable. But it was too late so PLEASE EXCUSE THE MESS.

Linkies may not work and the "flow" is very un-feng-shui and the gadgets are.... well I have no gadgets.... you get the idea. But WELCOME none the less. Kick off your shoes, stay a bit, RSS me. Laugh. Please. I drank RAW EGGS for you. You owe me.  

*****************************



And also this happened. 
Turn away to check emails and they smear peanut butter all over their face and turn into heathens.
GAWD!

4 comments:

katquilter said...

Congratulations! I think you and Sarah have a lot in common.... you both make me laugh and have ADORABLE babies!!

Lauren said...

The interview was really good - you're so cute for being nervous - and even more awesome for telling us how nervous you were.

Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com said...

Now that I've made someone nervous, I am going to start checking the sky regularly for flying pigs. YOU NEVER KNOW.

Mary said...

So cute! Just noticed that your Elizabeth has a hemangioma on her nose and saw your two month old post where you talk about possibly going to see someone about it. Did that ever happen? I'm asking because I had a very similar one on the end of my nose as a baby (totally gone) and my Elizabeth has twelve scattered around her body, some that are beneath the skin and others that aren't. So if you have questions for a parent walking a similar path I'm your gal!

PS Do you get stupid comments from strangers too?