Sunday, May 16, 2010

OMFG more teeth!

The past few days have been rough around here. We are back to screaming and flailing and popping things out of Mommy's hands. The sleeping schedule has been over-ruled. E has a new tooth (her next upper-left one). It should break through any day now. She seems to be in much greater pain with this one though.

Stephen gave E the binky back and she took right to it like we never took it away in the first place. He said she "looked like she wanted it" and so he gave it to her and then magically, it calmed her down. I told him we can't always give her what she wants just to shut her up and he was all "WHY NOT?! It works! Problem solved." Wow. Man-Logic has triumphed yet again. Truthfully, I was a little relieved because hey, I'm pretty sure I have permission to score some narcotics now. BECAUSE THEY WORK TOO. For me.

It's sad that I am so against the damn binky but I am so grateful for it's ability to soothe the tyrant. Consider my white flag waved. What's next? Skittles for breakfast? Smokin' pot on the back porch? (If she's gonna do it, she's gonna do it with me) ((spoken with a white-trash redneck slur)) Except I could probably get away with the pot part as "medical marijuana". If the fuzz show up, I'll say it's E's.

"She's teething, Officer....."

Course then they would probably arrest ME because I don't have an excuse but I LOOK stoned with my blood shot eyes, lethargic movements and slurry speech.

"I'm not stoned, Officer! I'm FUCKING EXHAUSTED!"

But he won't believe me and then I'm going to go to jail for E's stash. Outsmarted by a nine-month-old again....

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Also: Buckets of drool. 



Everything is *damp* and *moist* and the baby-laundry pile is growing faster than all other laundry. Combined.


The bibs do nothing. 
They are useless.

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(Filed under "Stephen says the funniest shit")

Stephen: "Who's Willis?"
 
Me: "What?"
Stephen: "Willis. Who's the Willis that Lizzie is talking to in her picture?"
 
Me: "WTF are you talking about"
 
Stephen: "That picture caption says "Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?" and I just want to know WHO IS WILLIS?"
 
Me: *blink* *blink* "From Diff'rent Strokes?"
 
Stephen: "What's Diff'rent Strokes?"
 
Me: "OMG are you serious? The show? From when we were kids??"
 
Stephen: *blank stare*

So I googled it and showed him...





Nope, does not ring a bell for him.

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And then the next day I hear him playing with E on the floor and he's saying;
"What the fuck, Wilson"

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, WTF Wilson, like on the show."

HAHA! Close enough I guess.

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WTF, Wilson.....

3 comments:

LauraIrina said...

Love you. Love Stephen. Love Lizzie.

Thanks for making me laugh every single time I come here.
Which is a lot (sshh, every day actually).
If you haven't updated I'll just re-read the old entries, and laugh at least as much as I did when I first read them.
Which possibly makes me seem weird instead of being a compliment to you.

Anyway.
Congrats on being pregnant :).

All the best, Laura

My New Life As Mom said...

OMG, I think I peed my pants!!!

WTF, Wilson!

Alicia Stucky said...

Hahaha! That was by far the funniest thing I've heard all day. I say that line with the kids that I nanny for all the time. Now I'll never be able to say it again without thinking of WTF, Wilson!